Sadness of a Birthday

I wouldn’t say it’s exactly a secret that I don’t love my birthday. I suppose I could revert back to my playing days when in large part the potential of your age had much to do with how much of a chance anyone would give you. The older you were the less of a chance ‘they’ give you to develop, to reach your full potential; to get paid, to get your shot if you will and move up the ranks.

Each year that passed was time narrowing my career and love for a game which ultimately became my passion. Every year gone was a year less I got to play, each year that disappeared meant less opportunity to get to the next level.

Fast forward to a career in health and wellness, lifestyle and even self help. Earlier on I had people, clients if you will that I was trying to help, say verbatim, “what do you know about it, you’re just a baby”. I thought again, what does my age have to do with how I understand the world.

So as I sit on the eve of another Birthday, another year is gone which makes me sad. But when I really think about it, I don’t have much to be sad about. I was listening to Rachel Hollis and she said that most people that don’t enjoy their birthday, don’t because they feel like they should have accomplished more by the age they are. That’s me without question.

Did I want more, do I want more? More money in the bank, a bigger audience, the ability to help more people, houses, clothes, etc. It goes on and on and could go on forever because, we always want more don’t we? No matter how much we have, we could have more.

So in a sad state I think to myself, what would make me happier. What could bring more happiness to my life at this moment. Which leads me to what I have and where I am in life.

Writing this looking out over the Indian Ocean visiting Sri Lanka for a month with sand in my feet and an ocean breeze blowing in my (at least to this Island) infamous blue mohawk; the sun will set in only 30 minutes time. Which means the sky is turning a beautiful yellowish orange most of us only see on the discovery channel.

I’ve designed a lifestyle most wouldn’t mind living. To be able to work and travel and take time away when I feel necessary. Materialistically, I drive my childhood dream car which is a Cadillac – something I’ve always wanted.

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Almost a year ago, we a took a leap of faith and reached another childhood and life long dream of having our very own beach house in California. We leave our things, visit LA often, have our own beach bikes and clothes, straight from the thrift store ;).

What’s more than that is I get to spend most of my days with my best friend, we run a business together, travel and enjoy living life hard, every single day, just like when I played baseball traveling the world. No days off, never missing a practice, I never took a day for granted because I knew one day it would all be just a dream.

This life is a dream, I love it so much, I wish I could pause it, put it on hold, appreciate each moment even more, just for a moment longer. And as we grow younger together and learn more about one another, I’m so grateful I walk this path hand in hand with someone that enjoys life as much as I do.

Someone who can laugh and cry, care and love, and live life to the fullest as I try to.

So what’s missing, where is there room for sadness? With loving friends and family, with clients and customer who we choose to call friends that are behind us every step of way, that illuminate our journey in this life.

Would I be better off with more money in the bank, with millions of followers and raving fans? Would fame or fortune, bigger houses or more cars bring more happiness, would I take another life over this one?

I can answer easily without a second thought. In sadness, I can replace with gratitude, with wanting or lack of, I can replace with abundance, because we all have more than enough in this life, we all have more than enough in this world.

If we could realize how much we have, we wouldn’t need one more thing to clutter our perspective of how good life really is.

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