I was working out in one of my favourite places. It’s an outdoor workout area that literally looks over the ocean.
An ocean breeze, even an ocean spray on a particularly windy day will cool your workout. On one side is the ocean and on the other side is houses lined up all the way down the coastline with a beach view most only see in movies.
The house look over the ocean just as the workout area does. Throughout my workout, I see this giant million dollar house that looks like it’s the size of a street block. Enormous in size, a breath taking view, and the thought of even considering living there or owning it is a serious stretch of the mind.
There’s a realtor up at the top which looks like there’s a kitchen he’s sitting in. ‘Open house’ signs sit out front, and you see a few couples gingerly walk in wide eyed and open mouthed, almost like they’re not supposed to be going in there.
I thought to myself, it would be cool to see what that house looks like inside. In fact as I ride my bicycle down what they call ‘the strand’, I see all kinds of these multimillion dollar houses and wonder what it would be like to see inside (and sometimes I can even picture myself living in them ;)).
What happens next is disturbing to the intellectual part of my mind. When I thinking about going inside for a visit, doubt creeps in. It says you don’t belong there, you have no business going inside there, you’ll never be able to afford that so what’s the point, what will the realtor think when a sweaty blue haired mohawed individual walks in the door?
I shake off those thoughts as hard as it is knowing that’s my lizard brain talking nonsense (if you’re not sure what a lizard brain is look it up, it’s a real thing).
Then rationalism comes in. There’s a sign that says OPEN HOUSE, they are literally welcoming you in to see the house. Then I thought to myself, how often do I have the opportunity to walk into a 5 million dollar home.
Of course more doubts creep in and I angrily talk back (yes I’m having a conversation with myself).
And say, why don’t I deserve that kind of house, why aren’t I worth walking through, why do I case judgement on myself before anyone else does? And finally, if I were ever to believe or feel or even earn a lifestyle that allows that much money to be spent on one single house, wouldn’t it start with believe I can at least look at it?
I finish my workout and walk inside, I talk briefly to the realtor who is half interested, quite honestly he looks like he’d be half interested in anyone walking in the door. Sitting there like that’s the last place he wants to be and who could blame him.
I walk through the house, and the only emotion that I can muster is disappointment. I was expecting this lavish home, beautiful rooms, cool areas, a fireplace looking over the ocean maybe. Something, anything at all that was appealing, interesting and even jaw dropping.
I experienced none of that. Truthfully I wouldn’t even consider buying that home. The kitchen was far too small, nothing was updated and it looks like it’s been there for a very long time. The showers in the master bedroom, although there was two individual ones, were so small if you dropped something you likely couldn’t bend over to pick it up.
So what did I learn about this experience? That even if we don’t know it, we think for too less of ourselves. I mean, my gosh! I don’t think I’m good enough to even walk in a home that costs that much. That was startling to me. What makes people with that much more money that much more of a person that I?
And then of course, as we know, rarely does the outside of anything, person, home, lifestyle, represent who or what they are on the inside. You may find golden gems on the inside of a small shake as we did in Sri Lanka in the warmest people we’ve ever met. And you may find shambles in a structure that has a price tag of just over 5 Million dollars.
In most cases I’d say it would be wise to not judge a book by it’s cover.