I can’t stop writing right now, I’m not sure what’s going on, it’s like my fingers are on auto type (Wait till that comes out), oh wait. Never mind, I think one of the new phones have that. Can’t wait till the day I don’t have to get out of bed and my whole day is done for me electronically.
I’ve been writing for the last two hours and have more left in the tank so I figured why stop now, I haven’t written a post in awhile. You know what I think it is, it’s this book I’m reading. You know when you pick up a book and within the first two pages you know it’s going to be great, those books always excite me.
I want to talk a little about confidence maybe, we’ll see how it goes.
Confidence is something that wavers in all of us. I don’t care how secure you are, I know for a fact some of the best athletes in the world have confidence issues at times. It’s not like it’s a big secret either, you can tell in their performance when things aren’t right upstairs (meaning their minds/confidence level).
I’d don’t like to talk about myself very often, but more so recently I felt that when I talk about my mistakes and failures, my insecurities it puts people at ease a little, it lets people know it’s okay to not be sure, it’s okay to not be confident, scared or worried. If you read any of my previous blogs about failure you’d understand that I think failure is a positive thing.
I don’t like the name personal trainer, my explanation could fill up a post or two on it’s own so all I’ll say is it’s about credibility, so I use the title Fitness Specialist. I think titles are kind of a joke to begin with but it seems as though we all need one so for now I’ll take that one. Now with this title alone I put extreme pressure on myself. Yes I know it’s only a couple words, nonetheless I had my own fears and doubts. Am I really a specialist, can I live up to this name, will people think more of me because of this title? And so on and so on.
Every time we step into a new role there is doubt, it’s inevitable. We’re not secure in our surrounding so we’re not sure what to expect.
Let’s take my radio show for example, I don’t think it’s hit home that I’m on the radio, I’ve never thought it was a big deal (more work than anything) but never have I thought any different of myself because I am on the air for a short time on the weekend. I don’t tell new people about it anymore, I know it’s not good marketing but it’s not like people tune into it (the people I tell I mean). Just about every single person I’ve told, their eyes lite up and then follows a number of questions, that aren’t very exciting for me. So I figure if I don’t say anything I can avoid those questions, tell mr ego to be quiet and carry on about my business.
Don’t get me wrong here, when I’m promoting and talking business and invite listeners that’s all real, I believe I have real/good information to share. I’m talking about old friends maybe, or acquaintances that could care less about what you’re doing but more so that they are doing better than you. You know when you see someone or meet someone it feels like you should tell them the greatest thing you’re doing or have done at the moment. Well I refuse to play into that anymore (now of course this could only be my perspective, at some point expectations were high for me-who know maybe still are, but the first question I used to get was, how come you’re not on tv yet…I hated that!)
I’ve only been on the radio for about 12 episodes and for about 10 of those every week I wasn’t sure I would be able to come up with enough information, I didn’t know if I’d be able to answer the questions people would ask, I didn’t know if I could fill up 15 mins of air time (If you know me at all you’d know I don’t talk a lot). All these doubts and insecurities were much more apparent in new shoes. Not only am I now a (self proclaimed Fitness Specialist) but not I have a radio show, in which I have to prepare for every week.
There’s always been doubts though, not sure why or where they came from. I’ve been doing what I do for years now. In high school people would ask me for advise. In college I was making nutrition and exercise programs, in pro and over seas baseball I was the one people came to if they had these questions, so now I give myself a new name and uh oh, what if I can’t answer a question, what if I don’t know how to do that or fix that?
I took a step back a week or so ago and was able to look at all I’ve accomplished in a short time. I was able to be a little proud, more importantly I was able to breathe. I understood there will always be worry or fear, what if I can’t fill up a class, what if people don’t like it, ect. If you don’t learn how to control these fears, they will certainly control you.
Weather it was the break or not, I don’t worry about the show now, I actually enjoy preparing for it. I pick a topic and do little research, I write down what I know, not only does it sound more natural but it’s kind of fun for me to realize how much I know about a subject. I start to write and pages come out.
As for being this ‘specialist’ I’ve been able to realize I’m the same person I’ve always been, course now I get paid for it but the question to those answers are still there exactly where I put them.
When it comes down to it, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. I had to take my own advice I was giving out the other day. We don’t nearly pat ourselves on the back enough. We don’t appreciate what we’ve accomplished; we don’t realize how confident and strong we really are.
If I could say something in conclusion (course I will, it’s me writing), I’d say take a step back and see yourself as someone else would, be that strong confident person that people see in you, and trust yourself as much as others do.