Now thereās nothing wrong with being an all or nothing person. But let me explain something that might help.
Max is on the right, Shania is on the left. Most of you have met Max, but this is the first time Iāve introduced Shania. Max and Shania are best friends. I love to watch them play. For the most part they are quite opposite. Max is a boy, Shania is a girl. Max is a bull, Shania is a princess.
Max is the type that goes full tilt not thinking of anything other than, whatever heās after (which is a good reason he frequents the vet, in this picture you can see his back right leg taped up due to the 7 stitches he just got in his foot). Shania thinks a little bit more, seems to consider or even plan.
In this picture weāre coming up to a texas gate, you can even see Shania looking at the gate planning how sheāll negotiate her next move.
At the same time you can see Max slowly building moment as heāll gather enough speed to leap over the entire gate without much effort.
As I walk over the gate and Max leaps, Shania stops. She paces back and forth not understanding whatās going on (Iām sure fear and anxiety follows that sheāll be left behind). I call for her, she wines, I call again, she paces. She looks to the left of this giant gate, then to the right. She then actually runs right but isnāt able to find an opening. Then she sprints to the left, and finds a small opening she half squeezed through and jumps over until she is free! (then of course joins us on the other side of the fence).

Couple things to take awayĀ from this:
#1. One direction doesnāt mean itās the best direction for everyone
#2. Thereās always other options to get the same result
#3. Just because one way doesnāt work, it doesnāt mean you should give up
See hereās our issue:
“We spend much of our time trying to get the same result doing the same thing even though that same thing weāve been trying most of our lives isnāt working”.
Iām sure we all heard Einsteinās quote for the definition of insanity? He said, āthe definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different resultsā.
So hereās an example, when I first begin with many of the people I work with, I talk about sustainability and making small changes. The first thing they say is āIām an all or nothing personā. Then I say, has that method gotten you the results youāre looking for? Then I say, āwould you like to try something other than, what hasnāt been working?ā
We try and try and try again which Iāll applaud every single time but that doesnāt change the fact that getting real results in your life takes time, patience, resourcefulness and the willingness to try different ways to get the result youāre looking for.
Just because youāve tried doesnāt mean there isnāt another way to reach your goal.
“Our past doesn’t define our future”.
The problem is weāre trying so many different ways to get in the front door while the back door is wide open.