Now there’s nothing wrong with being an all or nothing person. But let me explain something that might help.
Max is on the right, Shania is on the left. Most of you have met Max, but this is the first time I’ve introduced Shania. Max and Shania are best friends. I love to watch them play. For the most part they are quite opposite. Max is a boy, Shania is a girl. Max is a bull, Shania is a princess.
Max is the type that goes full tilt not thinking of anything other than, whatever he’s after (which is a good reason he frequents the vet, in this picture you can see his back right leg taped up due to the 7 stitches he just got in his foot). Shania thinks a little bit more, seems to consider or even plan.
In this picture we’re coming up to a texas gate, you can even see Shania looking at the gate planning how she’ll negotiate her next move.
At the same time you can see Max slowly building moment as he’ll gather enough speed to leap over the entire gate without much effort.
As I walk over the gate and Max leaps, Shania stops. She paces back and forth not understanding what’s going on (I’m sure fear and anxiety follows that she’ll be left behind). I call for her, she wines, I call again, she paces. She looks to the left of this giant gate, then to the right. She then actually runs right but isn’t able to find an opening. Then she sprints to the left, and finds a small opening she half squeezed through and jumps over until she is free! (then of course joins us on the other side of the fence).
Couple things to take away from this:
#1. One direction doesn’t mean it’s the best direction for everyone
#2. There’s always other options to get the same result
#3. Just because one way doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean you should give up
See here’s our issue:
“We spend much of our time trying to get the same result doing the same thing even though that same thing we’ve been trying most of our lives isn’t working”.
I’m sure we all heard Einstein’s quote for the definition of insanity? He said, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results”.
So here’s an example, when I first begin with many of the people I work with, I talk about sustainability and making small changes. The first thing they say is ‘I’m an all or nothing person’. Then I say, has that method gotten you the results you’re looking for? Then I say, ‘would you like to try something other than, what hasn’t been working?’
We try and try and try again which I’ll applaud every single time but that doesn’t change the fact that getting real results in your life takes time, patience, resourcefulness and the willingness to try different ways to get the result you’re looking for.
Just because you’ve tried doesn’t mean there isn’t another way to reach your goal.
“Our past doesn’t define our future”.
The problem is we’re trying so many different ways to get in the front door while the back door is wide open.