Mother’s Need to be Selfish

Dorothy’s Snapshot Experience at Motherhood

After looking after my niece for only two days I feel like I got a snapshot of the rugged truth about motherhood. Before having this experience I never understood completely how these little people take absolutely everything out you.

There is no time to even think about your own needs. Heck there isn’t even time to go to the bathroom let alone eat and forget about getting in a workout. NO TIME for that! During that brief period of time I realized that mother’s don’t have a choice but to put themselves last.

I was shocked to discover that in just two short days my regular routine of taking care of me was thrown out the window and my sole focus was on this little human. I wasn’t eating regularly, hydration? What’s that?  And exercise. Forget it. Chasing around a one and a half year old was exhausting enough. I couldn’t even think about putting on running shoes or heading to the gym.

Very quickly I turned into this robot. I was in pilot mode. Repeating most actions over and over multiple times a day. This whirl wind of events that left me feeling like I was in a tornado.

The Exhausting Routine

Wake-up, make a meal, clean up a meal, clothe a baby, change a baby, entertain a baby, change a diaper, clothe a baby, make a meal, clean-up a meal, entertain a baby, change a diaper, nap time, clean-up the house, nap time over-entertain a baby, make a meal, clean-up a meal, entertain a baby, change a diaper, bath a baby, clothe a baby,  bedtime, clean-up the house AGAIN!

Holy Smokes!!! Not once throughout the day did I have time to stop and even think about doing something for myself.

The Effects on the Body

It’s crazy to me how after just two short days I noticed effects on my body. I was run down, experiencing low energy, tired is saying it lightly, my skin was breaking out and I didn’t even shower. That’s right I was the smelly kid in class.

I truly found a brand new appreciation for all the hard work of mothers. The endless devotion to put their babies first and themselves last. Wow!! Such an incredible selfless good deed.

As I was reflecting my thoughts drifted and I found myself asking. Is this right?? Does it have to be this way? Do mothers have to feel this way? Is there another way?

It’s ok to be Selfish…

What I am about to day is going to sound CRAZY but I would like you to continue reading with an open mind.

I believe it’s time that mothers take a moment to be selfish.

Very bold statement I know. Especially since I am not a mother myself and only had a snapshot experience over the course of two days.

Stay with me though…

Let’s begin looking at this seemingly absurd theory by talking about the word selfish for minute. It has such a negative tone doesn’t it. When we hear the word selfish most of us immediately think of lacking consideration for others and only being concerned about one’s own well-being.

That sounds like the complete opposite of a mother now doesn’t it. But….

What if I told you it’s okay to be selfish. What if I told you that you need to find time in your day to be selfish. A time where you can be completely alone. A time to think of no one other than yourself. A time to concentraee on your own well-being no one else’s.  A time to ask for help and let someone else care for your baby for a short time. That doesn’t sound so scary does it?

Staying Strong

Among many things mother’s need to be healthy, strong, and mentally sharp. How can we possibly do this without being selfish?

Some may say I can’t. Some may say there’s no time for that. I am here to tell you it can be done. I promise it won’t take long. I encourage you to reflect upon how better of a person, partner, mother you would be if you could focus on being a better you for a short time each day. Just think about how better you would feel after 10 minutes of mediation, how relaxed you would feel after a 20 minute walk alone. This is what will take you from a great mother to an extraordinary person.

I am telling you that it’s possible and it all starts with two little words. Two little words that will give all the feeling of empowerment you can handle. Two little words that will make you feel you can achieve anything.  Two little words that will change your life. It all starts with….I CAN!!!

Tips to help you get started

Putting yourself first isn’t easy but making the commitment to changing that and getting started is often the hardest things to do. Taking a leap and saying “I am doing this!” can be tough. Focus on baby steps. Make small progressive changes and results will come.

A couple things you can do to get started are:

  • Plan to get up 5 minutes before your kids in the morning and meditate or stretch
  • When your kids are napping or when they are in bed for the night go outside for a walk
  • Take a detox bath before bed
  • Sit down with a good book for 10 minutes
  • Create a meal plan each week so there’s one less thing to do and think about
  • If your kids are older get them involved as much as you can with household chores
  • Let your kids help you in the kitchen

A Couple Tools to Help you Focus on you!!

Love Yourself Detox

We provide tools and exercises to help you regain the love for you. Some of the tools you’ll have, some you can buy and some you can borrow. These tools aren’t going to be exotic or expensive but they’ll certainly help out with this 10 Day Love Yourself Detox.

You’ll be given exercises to complete each day, now I’m not talking about exercises in a gym, I’m talking about mental and emotional exercises. Some will be physical but not strenuous.

In a progressive manner the exercises will increase throughout the 10 days so this doesn’t feel like a crash course. I understand 10 days isn’t a long period of time but I still don’t want to give you everything at once.

I highly suggest you follow along with the suggested exercises on the days listed, you don’t want to jump in with two feet and try to do everything at once. Remember, this is a 10 day love yourself detox, so love yourself, be gentle on your mind and with your mood, emotions and actions.

For more information click here.

Coaching with Dorothy

Healthy Lifestyle Coaching with Dorothy focuses on transforming your current way of living into one that is full of healthy eating, exercise and healthy minds. Each program is customizable to you and where you are at on your journey.

My focus is family orientated meal plans specifically for the busy mother who does more than hold the ship together. I’d love to show you how to save time, and even money, reduce the stress in your life and show you how there is time for you.

For more information click here.